The Condemned

I see The Author's tawdry tat has reached the highest office and got The Presidential Seal of Approval. Even, I, Kenny Grice feels like I should applaud this incredible achievement. Well done. I mean that most sincerely folks.

What a man.

Now, have you ever read such a f*cking shit load of bollocks as I, Kenny Grice, am about to reveal to you today? I think not. We (not the royal we) have now proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that The Author is away playing with the faeries she encountered at the bottom of her garden at Der Clock Face.

Cop at look at this. Have you ever read such narcissistic shite as this before? No way Pedro.

She is f*cking mad. I am struggling for words how to describe what you are going to have to read below. It is sickening me to my very core. As you have seen I am right hard bastard.

This is so f*cking crackers that it beggars belief how the loony woman put this into the public domain. It so obviously fake! The "something of the night" quote nicked from Ann "Bloody" Widdecombe of all people. She said it about that useless Tory tosser Michael Howard. Yes, "something of the night" OK - a big fat brown rat crawling out of a sewer scrounging for food. "Come to bed eyes". Yes, if your are blind and locked away in a rubber room. "Very attractive". I'll be accused of misogyny here but sod it. Take a look in the mirror love.

She has the totally deluded idea that all men find her attractive. Some might. Who am I, Kenny Grice, to say otherwise? See! That wasn't misogynistic was it? I've turned over a new leaf and underneath it was a beastly fat hairy green caterpillar. I wanted to put salt over it but Mrs Grice stopped me. I said "get back in the kitchen love where you belong!".

The bit about the deadly nerve gas Sarin. I suppose she read about that in her favourite magazine Nazi Murderers Monthly?

"As it ever been intimate?". "He's" such a tw*t of a journalist that he uses the word 'as' instead of 'has'. I wouldn't trust that anal wart to fill in my pools coupon. To that leading question our very own Ms Mould 2019 replies "That would be telling!". Oh pleeze! I can't take much more of this narcissistic horse crap.

"Are you a bad loser?". I think we will find out in a few days when her Empire of Crap comes crashing down around her ears and nobody believes that this nonsensical tale she has spun is remotely real.

"Thank you. I'll be here all week". BARF! One minute she is too f*cking ill to fart God Save the Queen in tune and the next she is hanging around like a donkey's dick.

The downright lies are easy to spot. 

1) There is no pub in Chester named the Lord Nelson (nor has there ever been). There are 3 in Liverpool should you want a beer post lockdown. Check out Trip Advisor because they could be shit holes for all I know. I am from Sarf London guv.

2) There is no magazine/web site or ever has been one called the Retro Times. There is FB Group but they are concerned with Entertainment in Czechia (was the Czech Republic) not f*cking Chester!

3) There is no journalist called Mark Flannery or has there ever been one.

4) The author claims her birthday was in June 1973. It was in April 1963.

5) Oxford Graduate. Doctor of History with 4 Masters Degrees. What a pack of bloody lies! Just when is The Author supposed to have got these qualifications? In her fag breaks working down the video shop and being Postman Prat? I am not going to mention the vet's assistant because that needs putting down right now. Doctor of History? The only Doctor she would be after is Dr Josef Mengele. Nazi Germany's answer to Harold Shipman.

6) She knows a Chemistry Professor at Oxford. The nearest she has come to a Professor is when she caught Plum in the Library with the Revolver when playing Cluedo with her Ma & Pa at Christmas

.

I am completely worn out. Having to plough through this insane bollocks has done my head in. I wish I was getting paid for this. I get paid for sewing mail bags in the nick!

Make of this what you will. If you think the author is sane then I would advise trying a self lobotomy during Lockdown.

Good night. This has been me Kenny Grice.